participation optional

Hi, guys. Ben's got problems. It was clear to me this week that almost everything he says or does is inappropriate. However, the tough question we aways have is how to sit down and constructively explain to him about each and every one of these socially-inappropriate offenses without him blowing up in a defensive tirade and a potentially viscous counter-attack?

It is clear that all of our feelings have been hurt by Ben's behaviors and our initial instincts are inevitably to retaliate in self-defense. However, I can see that lately, a consensus is building in the family to confront Ben on these issues not just on the defensive but instead actually for his own good so that he doesn't get himself into any more trouble over the same recurring issues. We all want Ben to be able to survive on his own in this world as a functional and self-confident adult. Yes, he makes progress but, at this rate, it seems clear that each of his successes is countered by a series of counter-productive set-backs. I'm beginning to lose hope that status quo treatment and avoidance of 'Ben-troubles' may never work and that Dad's theory on Asperger's Syndrome might be correct (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome).

This blog is to show Ben how often these inappropriate behaviors are occurring in his interactions with us without him even realizing it. My goal is to someday soon share this list with him (the end of 2008?). I think that this might be a good way to illuminate some of the recurring problems in social interactions that he has in a way that's not perceived as an attack and so that he can't dwell defensively upon the minute details of any one issue. I'm going to try to do this by writing very brief descriptions and precise dates of the events. I encourage you all to contribute to this and I hope that something good someday comes of it. I'm going to do what I can to make these neutral observations without a tone of resentment. Please do the same. Keep them brief, too.

Love,
Aaron